Day 1 - The Eventful Trip - Part 1

Friday 14 April

Vanessa and I intended to leave at about 6am. We were out on the road by 625, which is extremely good considering how early it was. I'd packed the eski with the sandwiches that Vanessa had made and some bottles of water. Lollies for the trip safely stored in Tupperware. First stage was to Ballina (approx 2 hours) and I was driving. Fairly good drive, a bit on the chilly side. To be expected really with the top down and driving at 100km/h.
Vanessa: "Did you pack the fruit?"
Ben: "What fruit?"
V: "In the fridge."
B: "No, I didn't know it was there."
V: "Ah well, Cameron can juice it. I suppose you didn't get the chocolate either."
DAMN
B: "What chocolate?"
V: "It was with the fruit."

Rule #1 for driving. If you buy the food, you pack the food. That way nothing gets forgotten.

Ballina Macdonalds was absolutely packed. Could hardly move inside. We left the roof down when we went in locking the central compartment and glove box (important detail for later). Flat white for Vanessa Mocha for Ben. Odd exit and the fact you make what feels like 3 right hand turns in Ballina made for the second oddest place on the trip. Check mobiles and find that parents car left at 615 from their place, putting them approx 15 minutes ahead. Feel confident we can make that time up, leave Ballina heading for Coffs (Harbour) and Lunch with other car (Mum, Dad, Amanda, Tom). Almost at Grafton (30-35k's north) and hit a traffic jam. Ring AJ to ascertain reason for delay. Apparently there was a head on collision between a BMW and a grey commodore. Body bags and tents in attendance. Not good. Vanessa it turns out has a bit of a cold and needs to sneeze. Goes to get tissues out of central compartment. Discover that it was locked (remember, this is the important bit). As we're stopped in traffic jam and not moving I tell her to turn the car off and unlock the various compartments. Which she does. Gets tissue and blows nose. Goes to put key back in ignition. Key doesn't fit.

The key does not go in the ignition.

Vanessa: "It's not going in."
Ben: "What do you mean it's not going in?"
V: I can't put it back in (accompanied by frantic pushing of key, attempting to get it in the ignition
B: What the bloody hell have you done to my car?

It turns out that the key had become twisted and broken by unlocking the compartments. The key doesn't actually go all the way in, only the top half does. This over the years has caused a stress fracture to occur, rendering the key unusable. Step one, attempt to hammer key back into submission. Search for hammer. Only thing useful is a shoe and the suntan lotion. Neither do the trick. At this point Vanessa is starting to panic. I'm just worried about blocking traffic. Unfortunately we'd stopped just before there was a decent shoulder on the road so there was a barrier next to the car, probably about 1.5 metres away. It ended about 2 metres ahead. So I thought lets move the car out of the way onto the shoulder of the road next to the car in front. Plenty of room between it and the barrier. In the meantime the drunk guys in the Hilux behind us (it's 10am in the morning btw) have gotten out of their car so I ask if they'd mind pushing. Vanessa stayed in the car to steer. We push, Vanessa turns the wheel. Which promptly locks as there is no key in the ignition.

So. Not happy at this point. The wheels didn't turn too far before they locked so there's still a bit of room on the side of the road. We push the car as close to the barrier as we feel comfortable, leaving maybe 30cm's out on the road. Traffic jam is still happening so it's not a problem yet. Ring car in front to let them know what's happening. Mum starts to pull over and turn around and come back. Amanda convinces her not to and that it's best for all concerned if they continue onwards. Vanessa rings Cameron to let him know what was happening and put him on alert they he made need to come pick us up if the car isn't going to move again. There is a small possibility that the key may need to come from a Mazda dealer if it can't be cut. Which looks likely to us given the shape it's in. No sorry, we didn't take any photos of it.

Drunk guys lend me a phone as it's a work phone and he doesn't have to pay for it. So I give the NRMA girl my details. She puts me on hold to verify them with RACQ. 5 minutes later I'm all verified. Then comes the fun part.
NRMA: Where are you?
Ben: About 35-30k's North of Grafton.
NRMA: Yes, but where is that?
Ben: Umm. On the pacific highway next to a river?
NRMA: I need to know exactly where you are so I can call the service man and let him know. They only have a 10k radius.
Ben: The best I can say is about 35k's North of Grafton on the Pacific Highway next to a river. Stuck in the traffic jam caused by the accident. That's as precise as I'm going to get as I'm from Brisbane. Can't you look it up on a map?

The answer is no, they can't look it up on the map. A bit of tooing and froing occurred as she asked questions that I couldn't answer (have you passed Maclean? What's the name of the river?). In the end I walked 500 metres up the road (traffic jam still going on) to the last side street we passed (Byrants Lane) and then she pinpointed the service man. And THEN she asked what the problem was. Put on hold again while she talks to the service man. Comes back and says they'll have to tow me to Maclean as they can't do anything about that on the road. Pretty much as expected.

Vanessa is still a bit worried about things but I've rung directory assistance and gotten the number for a 24 hour locksmith in Grafton. As we're not sure where we'll be going with the car I just get a quote. Being a public holiday it was a lot for him to come to Grafton to make new keys. I told him I'd ring him back when I know where we'll be and we'll sort it out then.

About this time the traffic is starting to clear up as the cars have been cleared away. So cars start whizzing past. Drunk guys have left as there is nothing more for them to do here (they can resume drinking in the car) so we're left on the side of the road with a bit of my car hanging out. We got a few honks on the horn (like I DIDN'T know my car was hanging out) but then this big RTA (Roads Traffic Authority, NSW Main Roads dept. basically) truck comes along and we're thinking, saved! Not actually a tow truck but it'll do. They stop behind us and these older gentlemen get out. They precede to ask did we know the car was sticking out, it's illegal and you'll have to move it. To which we proffer the key and they go, ah. Now what.

Now what = 3 men trying to lift a car and push it off the road. Not such a silly idea as the Mazda is a small car. But kudos to the Mazda's road holding ability, those tyres did not leave the ground despite some serious rocking going on. I'm not sure what their next idea was (I heard something about taking the steering column off, which would be over my dead body) because luckily the NRMA guy came along with his tow truck. Very cool how he managed to drag the car straight despite the wheels pointing in the wrong direction (clearly he's done this before) and soon we were heading back to Maclean and his workshop.

BTW, all these people suggested that I should have put a spare key on the car itself taped up under a mudguard. To me that's just begging for someone to steal your car. Maybe that's just city talk. And if I'd had a spare key (I didn't at the time) it would have been at home attached to my spare alarm thingy for my car.

Rule #2 for driving. Take a spare key with you.

Anyway, nearly at the end of part 1. The NRMA guy takes one look at the key. Goes to his NRMA roadside assistance ute (as opposed to the tow truck), gets out a file and has a go at the key for a minute or two. Comes back with some wd 40, sprays the key and sticks it in the ignition and the car starts. Fantastic. All we'd needed was a file and it would have done it. So we rang the guy up in Grafton and said we'd meet him at his store in an hour. Had lunch and got two keys cut. All in all, not too bad really. The key (pun intended) is not to panic.

Stay tuned for part 2! Involving petrol stations, Krispy Kreme, police and bling!